Sterling's funeral yesterday was a beautiful testament to his character and selfless nature. There were many of his friends from Blacksburg in attendance. For those of you not able to make it to the service for work or other reasons, I have attempted to write a first-hand account of the funeral and burial, as I know you will all want to know.
Greg Bump, George Penn, and myself arrived at Reid Funeral Home early yesterday at about 12:20p.m. In fact we were the first ones there. We didn't plan on being there that early, but that's the way it happened and I'm thankful for it. We each had the opportunity to view his earthly shell, and try to register this surreal experience as reality.
There were lots of beautiful flower arrangements all around. I read many of the tags, and recognized most of names from this community. Before the service began, the Pall Bearers lined up in front, blocking view of the casket as they closed it for the last time.
The Pall Bearers were:
Tom Maynard
Kelcie Edwards
Jim Lawrence
Greg Bump
Dan Dunlap
Craig Counts
George Penn Jr.
David Yolton
We took our seats in the front left part of the Chapel, then everyone stood as the family was lead into the Chapel and seated on the right side in front. Sterling's Mother, Connie, was escorted by her brother Harris.
Mrs. Smiley's pastor conducted the service. She also led those in attendance reciting the 23rd Psalm. Near the end of the service, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say. Sterling's friend Jim Lawrence was the first to stand and speak, claiming rightfully that Sterling was his best friend. In keeping with the way Sterling led his life, Tom Maynard followed and stated that Sterling was his best friend. This brought a light moment to the service that Sterling would have really appreciated. As is evident in all the things written and said over these past few days, Sterling made us all feel like we were his best friend, and he was surely best friend to most of us.
The service concluded and we began the longest funeral procession I've ever witnessed. We wound through the beautiful rolling hills, back roads, and farms of the Hanover and Louisa county countryside for the better part of an hour. Many stated half jokingly that they would have a hard time finding their way out or their way back another day.
As we approached the site, we all could feel the peace and serenity that led Mrs. Smiley to choose this spot as the final resting place for her family. We left the narrow paved road and drove a couple hundred yards through a field up to the cemetery. "I've never shed a tear here," she said. "This place is so peaceful, and Sterling used to love to come out here. He would come out here every time he came to visit." I could understand why. The cemetery is surrounded by a white picket fence. It sits on a little knoll in the far edge of a meadow field at the edge of the woods. The silence there was a presence itself, and it helped to comfort the indescribable sorrow in our hearts.
The graveside service was short and to the point. We prayed, and the pastor read from The New Testament stating that those who believe in Christ, though they be dead, yet shall they live. Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust, then it was over in the blink of an eye.
Many lingered to offer their condolences to Mrs. Smiley, and to share stories as well as ask questions if anyone knew anymore details about the accident. Everyone seemed to be in agreement that this was indeed one of the most peaceful places they had ever been. As we drove away, I found I didn't want to go. I had too much left to say to him, too many songs we never got a chance to play, too many moments we never had the chance to share together.
Though I fully understand his mother's decision to lay him to rest there, I found myself very upset that he would be so far away. Though I know that it is just his earthly remains, we need that closeness because we understand so little about the ways of the spirit. Yesterday did help to put this tragedy into some perspective, but I feel it is only the beginning for me. As I write at this very moment I hurt more than I did the day I heard the awful news. But the day has past, and his spirit is free as his remains are planted in the earth from which they came. It was a beautiful day for what it was. It was the most painful thing I have ever done. Craig Counts 09/01/04